Archive for the ‘Cat Humor’ Category

The Highway Patrol in conjunction with the FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners to keep their dogs indoors until further notice.   Dogs are being picked off one at a time on an almost continual basis through-out the state.   They are falling in great numbers.   Police in the city advise all dog owners not to walk their dogs.

I wonder why?

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”nature.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

Remember, in many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: Read the rest of this entry »

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door – nose height.

Dear Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food or dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway is not a racetrack, designed by NASCAR. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help either because I can fall faster than you can run. Read the rest of this entry »